wish i could, but cannot get much rest at home. Wednesday, Oct 14 2009

i have a couple of annoying contributing factors to my cancer/ siezure story.  in 2003 i was diagnosed with chronic hyperacusis(extreme sensitivity to some sounds and frequency ranges which in my particular case is higher frequency engine noises such as those that eminate from 4 cylindar lawn tractor engines.   well my next door neighbor apparantly chooses the fall to buy and plant lots of trees and bushes so for the last couple of weeks he’s been going all out all day every day diging and moving said plants and trees all over his yard.  Here’s a picture of his tractor(he has all the accessories in addition to the front end loader, like the auger and the ditch witch. i estimate his total investment as being around $25-35K into this thing which is fine by me, it’s his money and his right to spend it how he wants.  i just wish he would hurry up and finish his project.   also, some old news to report.  old news but with a positive outcome given the last two times i had to make a visit to the Frederick ER.   Last thursday my headache pain started ramping up to the level it was at when i had the brain bleed so after consulting with the hopkins neurosurgery on-call doc we drove to the ER and got yet another cat scan.  thankfully this time there was no indication of a brain bleed, just more edema due to my decadron taper.  after a couple of iv injections of decadron and some dilaudin pain meds they let us go without having to ambulance it over to hopkins for another surgery/ admittance…i also got my sutures removed in a clinic visit at hopkins on tuesday where we strenuously reviewed my steroid taper and decided to go a lot more conservative on the speedof the taper.  3mg 4x a day was just not enough. now i am at 4mg 6x a day and that seems to be working fine for me.  i am also taking hydrocodone every 4 hours to help. it’s a biiiiig help

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Harsh words and observations of the priorities and worries of my fellow americans who are fighting cancer Tuesday, Oct 6 2009

looks like one reason why cancer kills so many victims in america is the roll-over and die mentality seen everywhere these days.   every cancer clinic i go into features soothing pablum for the shallow american who is so afraid of his / her hair condition and physical appearance.   I mean you have cancer there you might want to focus on strengthening your body to deal with the chemo and radiation… your friggin hair will grow back eventually…stop looking for simple solutions and government care of your life… take responsibility for yourself

i know this sounds really harsh but i have been fighting like hell to maintain my strength and resolve and it just pisses me off to see the weak sheeple in the waiting rooms tugging at their hats and wigs and do-rags trying to hide their condition from their neighbors like cancer is some kind of sexually transmitted disease

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